Soulful Sunday: Why I fell in love with you..

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Why I felt an overwhelming emotion that made me act like a complete fool?

People fall in love because they felt a connection or some sort of similarity; while some might say they felt somewhat comfortable being with a specific person.

While falling and being in love with someone makes us feel warm and fuzzy – and then you get older.

The key factor to falling in love is compatibility

Love can feel complicated and many factors contribute to “falling in love”. Things like physical chemistry, sexual attraction and shared interests may fuel that initial spark, but in my personal and professional experience, I have found that the key factor to both falling (and staying) in love is compatibility!

Compatibility is an often misunderstood concept. Compatibility does not refer to physical attraction, chemistry or even similarity. It is the ease with which two people communicate and relate to each other. I like to think of compatibility as to how two people’s energy or vibes combine and naturally flow. This ease of relating is the vital component of falling in love!

You have gotten to know them more

How long before you fall in love with someone? Unlike what movies suggest, falling in love doesn’t come at first sight.

To truly fall for someone means that you have spent time to get to know them. You don’t have to know every part of their lives, but knowing enough can make you really like someone.

They complement your personality

As cheesy as this may sound, I fell in love with the person that completed me. Her personality brought out the best in me, that bond is something I could not ignore. I naturally wanted to be with her – someone who made me a better person.

Because their flaws don’t matter anymore

Our relationship underwent the “honeymoon” stage. This is the part where everything seemed so perfect, and no challenge could’ve brought our relationship down. But after the honeymoon stage, what happens? Different problems arise and she came to see the real me — the flaws, shortcomings, and everything undesirable.

But even after all of these, she was there. She chose to fight by my side. I fell in love with her (and sometimes, even more) because no matter how imperfect I was, I knew that she accepted all those imperfections as long as I did right by her.

We fall in love with the enigma and solution of ourselves

I fell in love with someone both familiar and strange. She called to my deepest wishes of what we thought we could never have and fulfill that which we only hazily realise we already knew (like Robert Frost’s take on poetry: “Poetry makes you remember what you didn’t know you knew.”).

Love complements all of us and shows us an avenue to a part of ourselves we didn’t know existed. It provides a solution to some spell we never imagined could be broken, and then ironically, provide us with a new riddle to solve that we never imagined.

She feels like home in all the ways that are somehow right and, somewhat wrong, but she keep me striving to understand who I am and who we are, together and alone. We fall in love with the enigma and solution of ourselves.

The simple truth is, LOVE is an action word. What makes falling in love so exciting, is we secretly wonder to ourselves: “is this the one?” Falsely thinking that if it is, this feeling will last forever.

What we want is a love that lasts a lifetime. It’s not about finding the one, it’s about taking constant action to demonstrate our love to each other.

And whilst it lasts – I love you and I thank you for always being there RDB!

Your Boy,

RV